How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found
by Sirius Lack Of
Summary: After a tragic accident, Hermione is sent to live with Remus Lupin. Can Remus distract Hermione from the pain of such a loss? Can Hermione survive his monstrous condition?
1. Chapter 1

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

* * *

Hermione tried to fight back the tears, the drowning feeling that was rising in her throat. Her ears didn't want to believe what she had just been told; it wasn't possible. This was a nightmare. She sat in her chair, arms wrapped so tightly around her sides in a futile attempt to comfort herself. She didn't think she would ever feel happiness again, this pain would snuff out any small bit of joy she could ever feel again.

"I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of such...grim news." Dumbledore spoke slowly, wondering if he should move from behind his desk to console her.

"I don't understand..." She choked out after a long moment. "How could this happen?"

"I am truly, deeply sorry for your loss Ms. Granger. I was told that it was a car accident. They were killed instantly...I was told they didn't suffer." He wished he could explain it in a better way, but there really was no good way to tell a sixteen year old girl that her parents had been killed in a tragic accident. Especially days before the end of the year, when it had been so long since she had seen them.

"I just got an owl from them yesterday morning..." She whispered to herself. "I never got a chance to reply...."

Dumbledore wrenched his hands in his lap. He knew the pain she felt all too well, but didn't know how to help. He knew, however, that the next news he had to deliver would be equally as painful.

"I'm sure this is something you're not quite ready to hear," He started slowly, conjuring her a cup of tea, a foolish attempt at comfort. "But we need to discuss your placement for this summer."

"My placement?" Hermione wiped away tears that had streaked down her pale cheeks. "Oh God...I haven't got any family, Professor. What will I do? Where will I go?"

The idea of going into foster care or to an orphanage terrified her.

"Well, I have consulted with the Order and it has been decided that it would be too dangerous to let you live with anyone outside of its members...." He urged her to drink her tea, which she took up reluctantly, but did not drink. "The obvious first choice would be to place you with the Weasleys..."

Hermione looked up at him, momentarily relieved by the idea. Nothing would be as good as living with her own parents, but the Weasleys were her second family without a doubt.

"Unfortunately," Dumbledore began, Hermione's heart sank. "It was decided that placing you with them would burden the Weasleys, and as you know, they are already stretched to their limits financially. Also, I personally felt it would be unwise to have you in the same location with Ronald...As Harry's best friends, this would place you in a vulnerable position....Death Eaters and the like..." He trailed off.

"Who then?" Hermione could barely speak, the knot in her stomach was rising up into her throat, threatening to cut off her oxygen.

"It may be a bit....unorthodox...but Remus Lupin has volunteered to take you in."

* * *

Dumbledore had allowed her to stay in his office until she was calm enough to return to Gryffindor Tower, but even then he had her escorted by Madame Pompfrey. Once the shock had worn off, as much as it could for such a short amount of time, Hermione was able to relate what had happened to Ginny, Harry and Ron. They were just as shocked as she had been, although none of them could truly experience the magnitude of emotions that she had been plunged into. Hermione had found some peace in Ron's arms as he held her for long hours on the sagging and faded couches in the common room.

"Really? Lupin?" Harry asked, standing with his back to them, as he stared into the dying fire.

"Dumbledore felt it was best...." Hermione's voice had not still fully returned, but for now she wasn't sobbing, which was a vast improvement.

"I still think you should come to live with us." Ron said quietly.

"Dumbledore is right Ron, as much as I wish he wasn't. It's bad enough that you and Ginny live together, but having the three people I care about most in the same place? That's just asking for trouble. Voldermort would have the Burrow surrounded twentyfour-seven."

"I know the logic..." Ron grumbled out. "It still sucks."

Hermione gently moved Ron's arm, freeing herself from his loving grasp. She stood up and sighed, trying not to start crying again. She covered her eyes with her hands, slowly raking her fingers back through her thick, unruly honey hair. She sighed again.

After a moment, she looked at Ron intently. "I...I have to pack. We leave for the Hogwarts express in two days and I haven't touched a thing. Dumbledore said that he'd already arranged for all of my things to be transported to Remus's cottage..."

"What about all of your parents' things?" Harry glanced at her.

"Dumbledore said the house is still mine. I own it, and all of their things stay with it, I just can't have it until I'm 17."

"At least its yours." Ron added appreciatively.

"Do you want us to help you pack?" Harry added, trying to distract Hermione.

"No...I think I can handle it. If not, Ginny's already volunteered...." Hermione looked at the clock and realized it was half past two in the morning already. "I need to go to bed."

A few moments later, Hermione was huddled under her covers. The girl's dormitory was cold, just like she felt inside. Cold and empty. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was her parents' faces. Regret washed over her; she only wished she'd had a chance to say goodbye. To tell her parents how much she had loved them.

"It's too late now..." She whispered to herself.

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think of anything else than her parents, anything. So instead she imagined the little house by the beach where she would live with Remus. She imagined it would be nestled near the edge of the forest, not too far from a small muggle fishing village, but set away near sheer cliffs that overlooked the ocean breaking on a landscape of sharp rocks. Perhaps a little solitude would be nice, away from the magic word, away from everything that reminded her of what she'd lost. Remus's face materialized into her visions; her thoughts drifted his greying hair and soft eyes. _It's been so long_.

* * *

Let me know what you think.

Please Read and Review!

Meg


	2. Chapter 2

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

* * *

When she arrived on the long stone walk way leading to Remus's cottage, Hermione already missed the lulling noise of the Hogwarts Express crossing the tracks. She missed the sound of first years giggling in the adjacent cars, the quiet conversations Harry and Ron had had, thinking she was asleep. Hermione had spent the hours-long journey reclined against the cushioned seat on her own side of the train car, sat sideways with her knees pulled up to her chest. It was all she could do to keep herself calm. She'd held her eyes closed the whole time, though it wasn't much of a struggle considering her lack of sleep since the news.

She felt a cold numbness envelope her when she'd kissed Ron and Harry goodbye. They had promised to write daily, but it wouldn't be enough to distract her from her grief. Harry had hugged her one last time and she could barely let go. Her fingers clung to the fabric of his shirt, pleading with her to hold on for one more moment. She only wished she'd had one more moment with her parents. But they'd had to leave, just as she had. She had a portkey to catch waiting for her in Diagon Alley.

The feeling of her stomach turning inside out had subsided after a few moments and Hermione had been slow to collect her bags off the lawn where she had landed, none too gently. The first thing she noticed was the smell, the rush of saltiness that hit her nose like the waves not too far off. It was a pleasant change from the musty dankness that hung around in the castle. It was getting dark and a bitter cold was creeping in from the coast; Hermione wrapped her sweater around her tightly. _Doesn't this place ever get warm? It's the summer, _she thought to herself.

A short ways from where she stood was a tiny cottage that looked like it was on its last legs. The walls were encrusted with a light film of sea salt, probably as old as the house was, and the very boards that made up the house looked as though they were pulling away from each other. Lights were on in the windows, throwing a soft halo of brightness over the grass and cobblestone walk. Hermione could see the figures of two people faintly as she approached; one of them must be Remus, she supposed, but who was the other?

As she neared, walking silently, she could see them more clearly through a gap in the threadbare curtains. One of the figures was indeed Remus, the other however, was a woman who looked no older than thirty. She could make out that they were talking, but couldn't hear them through the thick-paned glass of the window. Hermione paused at the door, half not wanting to disturb them and half not wanting to see anyone just yet. There was a faded blue porch swing that hung from chains screwed into the roof, Hermione laid her two bags on floorboards next to the front door and sat down on the swing.

She laid her head against the chain and let the bench rock with the wind for a moment while she watched them.

Remus and the woman were talking with their hands, and he was gesturing in such a way that Hermione could only read as exasperation. She was glad she'd decided to wait before going in, it seemed clear to her that they were having a row. Remus approached the dark haired woman, who was looking away from him, and grasped up her arm. Hermione was momentarily afraid that Remus was going to hit the woman when he pulled her to him and kissed her. Hermione felt like a voyeur as she watched them kiss passionately, his hand digging into her long straight hair, begging her to continue to kiss him. It was only a few seconds before she broke the kiss and forced her palms against his chest, pushing him away.

Hermione stood up quickly as she saw the woman grasp up her sweater from the chair next to the window and jerk the front door open.

"No, Remus. I won't be any part of this." She forced the words out from behind gritted teeth. "Call me when you're done being an immature little prat."

The woman stared at Hermione as she plucked her bicycle from the side of the house, mounted and rode off without so much as another word to Remus. The front door stood wide open, the bright halo of light obscured by the shadow Remus cast.

"I was hoping you would have come in and saved me from all that..." He said, as if talking to no one.

"I, uh....how did you know I was here?" Hermione finally spoke after a moment.

His footsteps on the hollow wood floor came closer until he rounded the corner, leaning against the door jam, hands in his trouser pockets. He smiled at her softly, eyes piercingly grey in the light from the rooms within.

"I'm a werewolf, Hermione." A charming smirk appeared on his full lips. "I heard you when you first got here, quiet as you were. The real giveaway was your smell...I think I could smell you even before you got here."

"Oh, I see." She nodded, feeling slightly uneasy and self conscious. "I'm sorry, really, I didn't want to...disturb....interrupt?"

"No worries. The fight was over as soon as you arrived." He explained further when he saw her puzzled look. "She's a muggle. From the village down the road....I obviously can't tell her about my monthly changes, so she assumes I'm with another woman."

"I can see how she would think that."

"Yes, and well, when I told her about you coming to live here... she assumed you were the other woman." He looked away, somewhat sheepishly.

It was then that Hermione noticed how much he had aged in the three years it had been since she'd seen him. His hair had grown, it was shorter in the back, but slightly longer than ear length on top. It had been an ashy mix of grey and light brown the last she'd seen it, but now it was mostly grey. He'd also grown a beard, one that looked as though it needed a bit of cleaning up around the edges. Hermione was suddenly struck by an odd feeling of attraction to him. _It must be the grief....this is Professor Lupin you silly girl!_ She reminded herself, blushing furiously and fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Would you like to come in?"

* * *

Please R & R!

Meg


	3. Chapter 3

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

* * *

"I really am sorry about not getting you in Diagon," Remus began as they say down in front of his small fireplace in the house's main room. He'd just given Hermione the "grand tour" of the place, which at a total of fours rooms took no more than a few minutes.

"It's fine, I enjoyed the alone time." Hermione spoke quietly, taking a seat opposite him in an old arm chair framed by two well-stocked bookcases.

"I had every intention of being there to collect you from the Inn...But, Elizabeth showed up and practically raised the dead." He leaned back on the sofa, stretching his long arms out over the length of its back. "I thought it had only been a few minutes, but I guess it was more like a few hours."

Remus couldn't help feeling a twinge of guilt as he imagined Hermione, huddled with her bags, waiting for him in Diagon alone. He could barely imagine the way she felt, losing her parents so suddenly and then being forced into such a sharp change from castle life at Hogwarts to a dreary little seaside town with him. He noticed she was staring out the window as they sat in complete silence, the only noise in the room was the quiet crackling of the fire.

Hermione seemed very different than the last time he had seen her. As his student, she could hardly be kept quiet for a moment, let alone for as long as it had been since she arrived. The lasciviousness of her seemed to have been drowned out be her grief, quite understandably. Her striking brown eyes were staring at something far off, or perhaps at nothing at all. He watched as she idly tucked a strand of her now-calmer fawn colored hair behind her ear. She was taller than he remembered, and much more...womanly looking. But he supposed that was all the difference three years could make.

"You're not a child anymore..." He whispered to himself, barely louder than the beating of his heart.

Hermione glanced over at Remus, having returned from being lost in her own thoughts. She could tell he was thinking about her, maybe worrying in the fatherly way that all professors do. His brows were slightly furrowed when she made eye contact with him. She let a smile touch just the corner of her mouth and was pleased to see one of his eyebrows leap up in surprise.

Remus cleared his throat and pushed himself off the couch. "Well...I think I'm going to work on my novel."

As he moved to leave the room, Remus looked back at her. They both had felt it; there was some unspoken message that fluttered in the space between their bodies. Some mutual spark of electricity had been passed when they'd locked eyes. Neither was sure they were comfortable with it, neither was sure that they weren't.

"I guess....I should unpack." Hermione stood up slowly, making her way towards the room that would be hers.

Once she'd shut the pine door, turning the brass knob until it clicked, Hermione heard a quiet voice through the wall that she shared with Remus's room.

"Good night, Hermione." He'd said, and though he didn't know it, he'd brought another small smile to Hermione's lips.

* * *

Once he'd heard the last of the unpacking noises coming from Hermione's room, Remus looked at his own reflection in the mirror on the backside of his bedroom door. He tilted his head up and scruffed the short hairs that made up his beard.

"You look so old, Moony." He said to himself with a chuckle.

Remus watched his reflection as he undid the buttons on his shirt and shrugged it off. He may have been older, but his body was still lean and muscular. He ran his fingers through the soft layer of light brown chest hair that haloed his strong chest and traced the trail of darkening hairs down to where they disappeared into his trousers. Remus let his fingers roam over the various scars he had garnered as the years had passed; some were fresh and still tender, other were decades old and faded to the point of being nearly gone. He wondered what Hermione would think of him, she probably thought him old and weakened by being a werewolf. Although he had long outlived the life expectancy of most werewolves, he was quite resilient and was only strengthened physically by his affliction. Emotionally, perhaps, was another story.

When Remus was finally devoid of all clothing, he was suddenly struck by the memory of that last time he had returned from being a werewolf. He always hated changing forms and being left naked and cold where ever he happened to be. It had been many months and moon cycles since the last time he had actually undergone that change, he had long been helped by Severus Snape, who provided him with various potions to suppress the effects of the full moon. They did not completely prevent the transformation into a werewolf, but left him with enough control to be able to quarantine himself away from the world. It was the only way to keep himself and everyone else safe, still it was not enough to ensure that nothing would happen; This had been the reason Remus had been forced nearly into the life of a hermit, his home set far away from others.

Remus had been somewhat reluctant to allow Hermione to come live with him, he worried he would be putting her in unnecessary danger. However, Dumbledore had pleaded with him and ensured him that she would be safe.

"Hermione can handle herself, my dear friend. Your changes are well under control. She will come to no harm." Dumbledore had written to him.

Despite his reluctance, Remus was happy to have some company. Even though he'd had a relationship with a few women from neighboring towns, it would be nice to have someone there in the house everyday. He remembered how Hermione had been when she was his student at Hogwarts, she had always been smart, she kept to herself a fair amount and didn't seem to be drama-filled like most of the other young women in her year. Remus felt like she had a similar enough temperament to himself that he couldn't imagine they would encounter too many problems as roommates for one summer.

_And that's all we are. _He had to remind himself.

* * *

What do you think?

Please R&R!

Meg


	4. Chapter 4

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

* * *

When her head finally hit the pillow on her ancient and tiny bed, Hermione had never been so happy to sleep in all her life. The day seemed to go on for years, as all the days in the last week had. She pulled the covers up around her neck, wishing that Crookshanks would hop up onto the foot of the bed and curl up next to her feet. She had regretted asking Ginny to look after her gingery cat for the summer, but she knew it was best. He often got confused in new surroundings, and she didn't want to burden Remus with any more new companions than she needed to.

When she finally drifted off to sleep, Hermione's dreams were a jumble of images that came too fast to make sense of. Hogwarts, Ron, Harry, the Great Hall, the Burrow, her childhood bedroom, a park down the street from her home, the elementary school she never really liked, and finally Remus. Her brain finally settled on reliving a fairly normal class of Defense against the Dark Arts, however she wasn't a third year as she should have been, but just as she was now. Remus stood at the front of the classroom, teaching them how to perform a certain spell. Hermione knew it was a dream because she couldn't concentrate for a second on what he was teaching.

She found herself drawn up to the front and he watched her as she approached, falling silent only when she was inches from him. She wrapped her slender fingers around the length of his now-still wand; he let her pluck it from his grasp and place it on the desk. In one swift motion, Hermione took great fistfuls of the fabric of his robe and pull him down to her level. She looked him in the eye, her lip quivered with the beat of her heart as a great surge of nervousness bloomed in her blood.

But instead of pushing her away, Remus wrapped his arms around her slim waist and lifted her off the ground. He kissed her with all the force a man should, tongue delving in between her plush lips to dance with her own. With all the class watching, he threw her down on the desk, breaking the kiss to drag his slick tongue down her neck to nibble her collarbone. Hermione moaned as his hands found more interesting places to be; he palmed her right breast with deft fingers while his other hand roamed up the soft skin of her inner thigh, under her uniform skirt. A shudder ripped through her when his fingers slid under the elastic of her panties to press into her.

"What in God's name are you doing to that girl?!" Dumbledore's voice resounded out from the back of the room.

It was then that Hermione woke up. She found herself laying on her stomach, face buried in her pillow.

"It was all a dream..." She panted out, realizing that she was still short of breath. "Never in my life have I had such an....intense dream."

Although she was only talking to herself, she spoke quietly, hoping Remus wouldn't hear her from the next room. A blush crept up on her cheeks, leaving them a bright scarlet, when she thought about the extent of the dream. The fact that Remus really had been only feet from her for the entire time she'd slept, dreaming of him molesting her so delightfully in front of the entire class, filled her with an odd pleasure she didn't care to admit to. She closed her eyes again, reliving the shudder she'd felt on Remus's desk.

There was a tapping at the window across the room from her and Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin thinking it was Remus. Instead it was a tiny grey owl tapping on the glass, wanting to be let in.

"Oh, Pig, its you." Hermione said with a smile, standing up to unlatch the window and let him in.

He hopped a few times on the window sill, his tiny talons clinking as he went, and hooted in appreciation. Hermione stroked his soft feathers with one hand while she opened the letter he'd held in his beak. Ginny had written to tell her that she already missed her and asked how things were at the house and with Remus. Hermione reminded herself to write to Ginny later as she offered Pigwidgen a treat she'd found in her bag.

She turned to her dressing table so that she could change into normal clothes and out of her pajamas when she saw the clock. It was already half past ten in the morning; she couldn't believe she'd slept so long, or that Remus had not come to wake her up. She guessed he was only being polite to let her sleep, which she was secretly pleased for. She could only imagine the trouble she'd have gotten into had she been woken up by his handsome face directly after that dream.

When Hermione had dressed and left her room, she found that Remus wasn't in the house. Instead, he'd left her a note taped to the fridge telling her that he was down by the beach and that when she woke up she was welcome to join him. Hermione wondered if it was a good idea to see him so soon, but decided that she needed to get out of the house and take in some sunshine and fresh air.

The sand and gravel crunched beneath her feet as she took the long path down towards the water. When she looked back at the house it seemed miles away, although the walk hadn't seemed quite that long. She banks of the hill that the house rested on were fairly steep on the water side; Hermione had to take great care not to slip on the loosely packed ground. She couldn't see Remus from where she stood, _perhaps he's diving , _she thought to herself.

It was only a few more steps before she saw his head pop up between the gentle waves a few hundred yards away, it was clear he had also seen her. Hermione shielded her face from the strong sunlight as she finally reached the wide stretch of rocky sand nearest the water.

"Hermione!" Remus called out, emerging from the water.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat; Remus's moist skin was positively glistening in the strong light as he padded the sand in nothing but a small pair of swim trunks. He had a broad smile on his face and he was waving her over. Suddenly a gust of English wind caught her and she nearly tripped, but before she could hit the ground, Remus's outstretched arms caught her.

"Whoa, careful there, Miss Granger." He smiled. "Sorry for getting you wet there." He pointed at the now dampened spots of her shorts and thin shirt.

"Thank you for catching me..." Hermione apologized for landing on him. "I didn't mean to throw myself at you, quite literally."

"Don't even worry about it." Remus motioned widely at the beach and the sky. "Isn't it just gorgeous out here in the morning?"

Hermione blushed again, thinking of her dream. Seeing Remus nearly naked and in his shimmering glory didn't really help the heat that was blooming deep inside of her.

"Yes...it really is."

* * *

Please R & R!

Meg


	5. Chapter 5

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

* * *

"I have a favor to ask you." Remus said, stepping a few feet from Hermione to shake off some of the excess water clinging to his muscular frame.

Hermione fought down another blush, as thoughts about what sort of "favors" she could do for him came racing into her mind. She tried not to look at him, as he was eliciting such a strong response from her body, despite her brain's best efforts to prevent it. She let out a little laugh, mostly at herself, and shut her eyes to take a deep breath.

"Are you alright? I know that was quite a spill." He tilted his head at her. His message was so conflicting, his eyes were laced with concern, but his mouth was painted with a sexy smirk. He raked his wet hair back with one hand and planted the other on his hip. It took all Hermione had not to follow that hand to his crotch.

"I...I'm fine, really." She shook her head and forced a smile. "What can I do for you, Professor?"

"Hey now," Remus reached out and touched her bare arm with his sand covered hand. The skin to skin contact electrified her. "I'm not your professor anymore."

"I'm sorry," She cleared her throat and looked up him. "What can I do for you....Remus?"

"I was wondering if you could go down to the village and get some groceries. I know you're not here to be my servant," The word struck Hermione in such a deliciously naughty way. "But in all the commotion, I forgot to stock up....I figured it would be a good opportunity for you to get to know the area, too."

Hermione tore her eyes away from him and looked down the beach. She could see that the town, although it was dwarfed by the distance, was busy enough; she could just make out cars on the road and people on the beach. Hermione wondered what there was to do there, particularly to distract her from the potential sexual disaster she was working her way into with Remus.

"Of course, of course." She smiled, feeling better in the warm sunlight.

"I'm sure you'll have no trouble blending in, little miss muggle." He teased her again with his smirk.

_Is he aware of this...game we're playing?_ She wondered to himself. _Honestly, he's got to know. He's being so...obvious._ Hermione mentally chastised herself for assuming so much. He was just friendly, surely. He wasn't interesting in a girl, even if she was of legal age, let alone a former student. He was trying to patch things up with that woman he was seeing. She was much more appropriate for him.

Remus told her that he had a jar with muggle money in it on the counter in the kitchen and that she should feel free to buy whatever she liked at the store. He'd also left a list of a few essentials he needed.

"Spend as much time in the town as you like." He added on at the end. "I'll be at home whenever you get back."

It was then that Hermione noticed Remus's freshly shaven face. He hadn't completely gotten rid of his beard, but rather cleaned it up around the edges and given the whole thing a trim. He looked much younger, though she hadn't minded one bit how he looked before.

"See you later." She called out as she began the climb back up the steep path to the house, much more careful this time not to slip.

When Hermione arrived at the town a while later, having borrowed Remus's bicycle (complete with a cute little basket on the handlebars), she was somewhat impressed with its size. From the house, it had seemed much tinier than it actually was. There were also many more people than she had anticipated; so many that the town even had a few hotels to accommodate out of towners. She gathered from the number of gift shops and stores that this wasn't a little fishing village like she had expected, but rather a small beach resort for tourists. Hermione found herself sourly wishing that she could have visited this place with her parents as a child.

It felt odd to her to be back in a muggle marketplace, it was a large transition from the wizarding world. She didn't know if that was such a bad thing, though. Being anonymous gave her a little more room to breathe. No one here knew of Harry Potter, of Voldemort or his Death Eaters, or that she was one of the famous Boy Who Lived's best friends. She couldn't imagine a safer place for her to be, apart from in Hogwarts castle under the watchful eyes of Albus Dumbledore. Her anonymity was short lived, though.

"Hello, love. Are you the young lady who's staying with Remus up there on the hill?" The old woman at the register asked when she'd gone to checkout.

"Oh, yes, I am. My name is Hermione." Hermione said politely, although slightly unprepared for the woman to know about her already.

"Elizabeth's told the whole town about what's gone on..." She shook her head and nudged Hermione's arm with her elbow. "You don't look like a tramp to me!" She laughed heartily. "That woman's lost her mind. Jealous type, mind you. It was nice to meet you."

Hermione returned the woman's genuine smile as she handed her a few pound notes and waited for change. As she loaded the paper bag of groceries into the bike's basket, she looked at the town one more time. The sun would soon be setting, so Hermione mounted the bike and set off towards the house on the hill.

* * *

By the time Hermione finally biked up the long walkway to the house, the sun was all but down, the full moon hanging low in the sky. Hermione paused to think of how beautiful and peaceful this place was. She leaned the bicycle against the pillar on the corner of the porch and grabbed up the heavy paper bag to take inside.

"Remus?" Hermione called out, seeing that the front door was wide open.

Even from the porch, Hermione could see that there were books strewn across the floor and the stuffing was out of one of the couch pillows. She could see Remus in the bathroom from the door, he was frantically ripping through the contents of the bathroom cabinet, which seemed to be littered across the floor in the hall.

"Remus, you're bleeding!" Hermione called, dropping the groceries onto the floor in the main room and rushing over to him. There was broken glass everywhere, Remus had obviously walked through it and was leaving trails of blood across the floorboards.

"No! Don't come near me!" He shouted, waving his hands violently in front of himself, his back still to Hermione. She still tried to walk closer, not understanding why he wouldn't allow her to help him.

"Remus, what happened?" She coughed out, taking a step back.

"That bitch!" He growled out, turning to face her, his lips stretched in a snarl. "She came while I was at the beach and smashed everything."

"Everything?" Hermione's eyes darted to the window where she could see the moon framed in the view.

"Everything." He spat out, voice low and angry.

"Oh my god." Hermione choked out, suddenly struck by the terror of what that meant, as Remus took a step closer to her.

* * *

Scary!

Please R & R! :)

Meg


	6. Chapter 6

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

**If it interests you, the song "Ich spuere keinen Schmerz" by Neuroticfish goes extremely well with this chapter. :)**

* * *

A vicious grin spread wide on Remus's full lips as he advanced on her. He shifted his face downward, his gaze locked on her like prey that he would soon devour. His face was darkly shadowed but Hermione could still see his grey eyes shimmering in what little light there was. A slow humming growl emitted from between his teeth, making Hermione's hairs stand on end. Where his hand had been gripping the door frame were now splinters where the force of his grip had torn away the painted wood. Hermione found herself slowly backing away, trying not to move too quickly and start a chase. She found herself nearly mesmerized by the look in his eyes, it was so shockingly primal that Hermione simply couldn't look away. She felt momentarily blinded, tripping over the various things that littered the floor as she slowly inched away from Remus.

Remus felt like he was trapped in his own body; his mind was still aware of what he way doing, but his body was ignoring all of his frantic commands to leave her alone. He could feel the change happening, his heart was pounding and his blood felt like fire coursing through his veins. Without his Wolfsbane potion to suppress it, he would be a full fledged werewolf in a few hours. However, for now, his muscles bulged, threatening to tear his skin, and he'd grown at least six inches in height. He could feel the adrenaline and testosterone clouding his mind as the seconds ticked away. His strength was tenfold what it had been only a few moments before, and what before had been just a small desire was turning into a life threatening urge. He had an animalistic need growing in his belly to have Hermione Granger. One that would not, could not, be ignored...whether or not he liked it.

Hermione was seized by fear, no longer able to move at all. She could hear his heavy breathing even though a handful of feet separated their bodies. He still approached slowly, almost as if he was playing with her. Was this a game to him? She inhaled sharply when he slowly licked the sharpening points of his teeth. Did he mean to eat her? Or simply kill her? She was terrified to die, especially by being maimed to death by a werewolf. She wondered how much self-control Remus could cling to in this state, deep down knowing it was very little if any at all.

A sudden rush of adrenaline bloomed in her blood and she turned to bolt away from him, praying she could just make it to the door. For some reason, even though it wasn't logical at all, she assumed that if she could just make its past the threshold, she could get away; she would be safe. In a split second he was on her, tremendously strong arms wrapping around her whole body, hauling her off her feet. She was pressed against his chest, and no matter how much she struggled and kicked, she was unable to move even an inch. His breath was hot in her ear, as was the skin of his chest through her shirt.

"Where do you think you're going, little girl?" He whispered into her ear, voice breathy and immensely deep. She felt a sudden slickness as he dragged his tongue around the edge of her ear. The prodding of his tongue was like electricity to her skin.

"Remus, please....please let me go." Hermione pleaded, going limp against his body. Surely there must have been some small part of him left that could reason with her.

"I think not." He stated simply. She could hear the hunger in his words.

Hermione's whole body clenched suddenly when she felt his hand slide up under the fabric of her shirt, long fingers dragging up the length of her torso to her breasts. He palmed the globe of her left breast while still holding her up with his right arm, her feet dangling inches from the ground. His tongue was at her ear again, traveling to the crook of her neck, leaving a hot saliva trail in its wake. Hermione tried to fight away what she was feeling but waves of intense pleasure were pulsating between her legs and radiating outwards through her whole body.

Remus nipped the sensitive skin on her shoulder and neck, setting his teeth just enough to hurt but not to break the delicate skin. The mixture of pain and pleasure was like nothing Hermione had ever felt. She was beginning to feel lightheaded from the force of his arm pushing the air out of her lungs, but the lack of air made the pleasure she was feeling even more intense. She could feel a hardness pressing into the back of her leg and knew that it wasn't just her who was getting off on this. She shifted as much as she could against him, forcing him to press against the gap between her thighs, his hardness just touching the underside of her pelvis. Remus let out a low laugh and ground himself against her, eliciting a sharp gasp from her throat.

"Tell me you want it." Remus slid one hand up to her delicate neck, titling her head back against his shoulder and purred into her ear. Hermione caught her breath and looked back at him as best she could.

"I want it." She panted out somewhat reluctantly. She knew having sex with Remus couldn't possibly be a good idea; the situation was so complicated already, but adding the fact that he was halfway between man and werewolf pushed it past the point of ridiculousness. But something in her wanted it, something wanted to be overpowered so that she could give in and surrender control for a few moments.

He pressed his hand against her throat tightly, punctuating his words. "Tell me you _need_ it."

"I need it, Remus!" She gasped out, her breathlessness drawing waves of pleasure from his every touch.

Remus trailed his fingers from her neck to squeeze her breast one last time before trailing lower. When he reached the button on her shorts he popped it without much thought, and in one motion he opened her zipper. Before she knew what to think, Remus's hand had slipped beneath the fabric of her panties. His fingers slid in between her soft folds, already slick with her desire for him. Hermione suppressed a small moan as he sunk one long finger inside of her, curling it up to rub against her inner wall while he stroked clitoris with the pad of his thumb. Hermione felt as if she might lose it right then and there; she wanted him inside her but he seemed to take more pleasure from teasing her.

"I believe you." He laughed out, pulling his hand out her pants to lick at his fingers with his smooth tongue.

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What do you think of it so far?

Please R&R!

Meg


	7. Chapter 7

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

**If it interests you, the song "Ich spuere keinen Schmerz" by Neuroticfish goes extremely well with this chapter. :)**

Sorry for delay...Saturday was my roommate's 21st birthday and so naturally, I spent Sunday with my head in the toilet. Lol

* * *

With one swift motion Hermione's pants were off, thrown somewhere into the half-lit room. Remus dropped her, and as she landed suddenly, fell forward onto the back of the couch. She managed to catch herself before she tipped over entirely, and braced herself by gripping the padded edge of the sofa. The soft fabric felt so alien compared to the stone wall of Remus's torso that she had just been held against. The feeling was short lived, without warning Hermione felt a sharp, stinging pain where Remus had landed a smack across her rear end. She could feel the warmth of blood rushing to spot, the skin painted rosy by the impact. Remus delighted in the muted cry that slipped out of her lips, doubly so by the fact that she had tried to hide it from him.

"You like this..." He panted into her ear, his body suddenly leaned over her own, pressed flush against her bare bottom half.

Hermione tried to find the breath to answer him, but before she could, his hands were on her again. He tugged her shirt over her head, taking surprising care not to pull her hair unnecessarily. He pressed his hips against her bum, grinding his erection into the cleft between her butt cheeks, as he slowly, teasingly undid the clasp of her bra. He let the fabric of her bra drop away as he stepped back away from her.

Hermione was momentarily terrified that his logic was returning and he'd had second thoughts about going through with this. Some small part of her was also afraid that he was slipping further away in his transformations and that she would soon be met with a full blown Werewolf.

"Remus, please..." She started to plead with him to come back, but before she could utter another word she was rewarded with his own bare flesh pressing up against her again. She could feel the length of him brushing against the underside of her bum, so close to where she wanted it. She reached back to stroke him, wrapping her hand around the shaft of his penis, thumbing the underside of the flared head. He indulged her for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her slim fingers as she slid up and down the length of him. He could feel pressure building in his loins and the urge to thrust into her hand was growing stronger by the second.

"Stop." Remus commanded suddenly, his breath hitched. He pried her hand away from his cock, letting his own hand slide up her arm to the elbow. Hermione looked back at him over her shoulder, loving the look on his face, that close-to-orgasm face that furrowed his brows. He caught her smiling while looking up at him and pursed his lips at her. "You think this is funny, little girl?" The fierceness in his voice had returned.

Hermione yelped as he jerked her arm backwards toward his body, his other hand reaching out to take her other arm with it. He captured both of her wrists with one long-fingered hand, holding them immobile behind her back. Remus wedged one his bare feet in between her feet, forcing her legs wider. He took a step further and kicked her legs open until he could easily stand between them. Hermione gasped as she felt his fingers slide in between her folds again; the rough touch of his hands made her shudder and cry out as he forced two wide fingers inside of her. Her cries didn't faze him as he pumped his long digits in and out of her, preparing her tight entrance for something much larger.

"Oh god, Remus..." Hermione panted, arching her back, hoping to get his fingers deeper inside of her.

"Silence." He growled, pulling his dripping fingers out of her. "If you say even _one_ more word..." He squeezed her ass roughly. "I will find someone else to fulfill my urges, you got that?"

Hermione bit her lip and nodded slowly, still reeling from the feeling of his fingers in her. Remus trailed his hand up her back to her neck and back down, the scratchy pad of his rough hand like lightning along the softness of her skin. Hermione could feel the head of his penis pressing against her and she almost sighed out in pleasure, but remembering his command stifled it before it transitioned from thought to action. Remus wrapped his hand around the base of his cock, guiding it in between her legs as she leaned over the couch, spread wide for him.

The warmth of his flesh as it pressed into her entrance was overwhelming. He penetrated her slowly and she clenched around him, both of them quivering at the long awaited contact. She felt as though she were being splayed open by a sword; her body submitted to him, enveloping his length in her warm wetness, the strain of his girth eliciting pleasure from her every nerve. It only took one stroke for him to bring her to the edge and one more to push her, moaning and shaking past the point of no return. The sound of her small cries excited him, distracting him momentarily from the intense pleasure he was feeling .

The friction he felt surrounding him as he pumped in and out of her tight cunt was more than he had ever felt before. Hermione could feel a tightness growing deep down in the base of her belly, the warmth returned with each, now quickening stroke of his cock. Remus, too, felt the building of orgasm in himself and his thrusts became harder, quicker and more fervent. He bucked his hips, drawing himself completely out of her dripping body and plunging back in to the hilt repeatedly. With each thrust he felt it growing, until finally something snapped. Remus gripped onto her hip with bruising force, pounding her tight pussy harder and harder, and loving the grunts that escaped Hermione's full mouth as she accepting him deep into her womb. A sheen of sweat was forming on his torso, and Hermione's round ass cheeks were growing red from the repeated blow of his hips hitting her hard. Remus growled out in intense pleasure through gritted teeth, the sound pushing Hermione closer and closer again to the edge of sanity.

Without even thinking, Remus grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulling the tangled mass with every rock of his hips. Hermione cried out again, and he could hear the mixture of pleasure and pain in her voice. Hermione's cunt spasmed around him in her third orgasm and the rippling of her muscles clenching around him drew him to the point of cumming.

Hermione gasped as he pulled her back to him, still sliding in and out of her as fast as his hips could manage, and planted his teeth on the nape of her neck. Remus plunged into her one last time with bruising force and cried out against her neck. Remus bit down, his sharp fangs penetrating her skin and latching into the muscle below. Hermione screamed out as Remus came deep inside her, flooding her womb with his fluids.

Remus stepped back, pulling himself out of the moist warmth he had so enjoyed. When he let go of her, Hermione crumpled on the edge of the couch, body still reeling and flooded with endorphins. She didn't even yet realize the severity of the wound Remus had just inflicted upon her, let alone the fact that she had just been bitten by a werewolf. She held her eyes closed and relived the last few moments.

"Remus...my god..." She panted out finally. It was then that she saw the streaming tears of blood that now painted the pale skin of her breasts. The blood was everywhere, even around Remus's mouth. "Remus, my god!" She yelped.

"What?" He growled back, barely able to keep himself human.

"You bit me!" Hermione forced out the last word, feeling a tremble growing inside her, the pain setting in.

* * *

Please R & R!

Meg


	8. Chapter 8

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

Sorry for delay...I'm about to graduate from college and move quite a distance...so things are busy. I'm going to make an effort to carve out more time for this.

...

Remus inhaled slowly, dragging his tongue across his lower lip. The smell and taste of her rusty blood flooded into his brain, threatening to overwhelm him. He could feel the intoxication of her smell spreading in his blood, dissipating like a drop of ink in water. His breath caught as he inhaled, his pupils dilating at the sight of her. The human part of Remus's mind was finally swallowed up by the growing werewolf inside of him; what little had been left of his conscience and impulse control just sank below the surface leaving only a killer in its place.

Hermione could hear heavy breathing just a few feet behind her. Hermione was struck with fear as each ragged breath transformed slowly into growl. Her instinct was to cover her wound with her hand, although it was futile to do so. Blood oozed out from the spaces between her fingers and drizzled down her body to land on the floor. Remus's eyes were locked on each falling drop on its way to the ground; using his distraction as an advantage, Hermione slowly began edging away from him. _No sudden movements_, she told herself in an attempt to override her enormous urge to run as fast as she could. She knew it would be useless, even as a man Remus could have easily caught her, let alone with his current animal capacities.

Hermione watched in horror as his limbs seemed to stretch before her eyes. Long trails of fur cropped up on his chest and torso at first, within seconds his whole body had been engulfed in grey tufts of coarse hair. Remus's eyes were locked on Hermione's as his skull mutated into a long dog snout, huge teeth suddenly within view, and his ears shifted up until they became pointed and huge. Hermione almost yelped when Remus's beautiful honey eyes became clouded and black. Before she could think, Remus launched himself forward, knocking her clear off her feet.

The pair hit the wall just next to the ancient fireplace, knocking a collection of books and a large ceramic jar onto the floor next to Hermione's face. She screamed her voice hoarse, struggling against him and kicking him with all her strength. Long claws dug into the flesh of her arms, tearing her skin open and ripping long strands of muscle fibers. It took all the force Hermione could manage to use her destroyed arms to keep Remus's mouth from her. His gnashing teeth were so close to her face as he growled and snapped that globs of spit sprayed her in the eyes, nearly blinding her. Hermione fought hard, forgetting at all that this creature had once been her Professor and more recently her lover. The adrenaline she felt took over all other thoughts, she had to survive.

Somehow Hermione managed to gain enough leverage that she was able to kick his enormous body weight off of herself for a split second. It wasn't time enough for her to escape, but it was just long enough for her to grab hold of the jar that had nearly landed on her. In a split second decision, Hermione smashed the jar into Remus's monstrous skull. The gritty powder that was once encased in the jar burst out, clouding the room and irritating the giant werewolf's eyes. An ear-splitting yelp ripped from Remus's open mouth as he backed away clawing at his eyes. His huge paws failed to remove the grit from his eyes and in his blindness, Remus stepped on the strewn books, toppling over.

Hermione, trembling uncontrollably, tried to push herself up off the ground but her ruined arms couldn't support her weight. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she sobbed in pain, her breath catching in her throat. It was then that Hermione realized what the powder was that she had blinded Remus with; it was Floo powder. She knew she only had a few scant seconds before Remus would be on her again, this time much more angry and dangerous. She scooped up some of the shimmering powder off of the floorboards, just enough to fill her small palm. With her free hand, she forced herself up to her knees despite the horrible pain. Her eyes darted around the room, searching in hope that she might be able to find a lighter or box of matches with which to light the fire. It was then that her only luck of the night struck.

Remus's wand was jammed under the half titled couch a few feet from her. Remus, too, was within arm's reach of the wand. She knew it was a gamble, but her survival instincts had kicked into overdrive, and it was her only hope of getting away from this monstrous beast who used to be her friend. With her one capable arm, she dragged herself across the floor, streaking blood in a trail. She could just barely lay a finger on the wooden shaft when Remus's thrashing threatened to hit her. Just as she graped two fingers on the handle, Remus roared out, thrashing violently into the couch. The force of his weight crashing into the heavy furniture was just enough to free the wand. Hermione groaned in pain as she hoisted herself up onto her knees and then finally, with the help of the wall, to her feet. She clutched the wand with insane force, adrenaline coursing in her veins.

"Incendio!" She shouted with all the air in her lungs, wand pointed at the small fireplace in the middle of their ruinous battle field. Flames leapt up, licking the painted wood of the hearth. As is Remus had heard her voice directed at him, he turned, eyes bleary and bloodied from his desperate pawing.

Hermione didn't have any time left, she could see him gearing for a blind attack at whatever he could smell. She made a run for the fire, throwing the Floo powder into the searing hot flames.

"Spinner's end!" She screamed, and tumbled into the open fireplace. Before Remus could reach her, she had vanished.

...

Please R & R. :)

Meg


	9. Chapter 9

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

Sorry for delay...I'm about to graduate from college and move quite a distance...so things are busy. I'm going to make an effort to carve out more time for this.

...

He held his breath as she dragged her tongue down the smooth skin of his belly, following the line of dark hair that disappeared into his boxers. He let a groan escape his lips as he coiled his fingers into her curly honey-highlighted brown hair. She smiled to herself, knowing that he enjoyed her skills thoroughly, and lightly scratched his ribs with her nails. He inhaled sharply, his whole torso seizing up in surprise.

"Mmm, you're evil." He said as she peered up at him. She moved to meet him eye to eye and he was momentarily sad that she had moved; the view of her round ass stuck up in the air was quite pleasing.

"Ah, yes, well...you're not one to talk." She shifted, straddling his hips and gave him a short but intense kiss. "That thing you do with my nipples is positively sinister, Sev..."

Her thought was cut off as an enormous crash noise sounded out from the room below us. Whatever it was, the impact had been enough to rattle the walls of Severus's bedroom. The sudden noise made them both jump involuntarily, but it was the noise that came afterwards that was the scariest of all.

The pair slowly descended down the dark and narrow staircase. In true masculine form, Severus stood in front of his lover, shielding her from potential danger with his outstretched arm. Without a sound, he lit the tip of his wand alight, holding it far in front of himself like a weapon. The scene they encountered was horrifying. Hermione lay on the middle of the floor in Severus's living room, devoid of clothing and nearly devoid of life. In took Severus a moment to recognize the mass of flesh that had smashed his coffee table into large shards of broken wood. Hermione's blood was splattered across the room, painting the white couches in crimson and pooling on the floor beneath her. The only reason he knew that _whatever_ it was was human, or more importantly alive, was the small noise that emitted from it.

"What is it?" She asked, wrapping her sweater around her tightly in fear.

"Help..." A quiet, clearly pained groan escaped Hermione's lips. It was all she could manage. Her mind was screaming bloody murder, but there was not enough life left in her ruined body to manage anything else.

Severus inhaled sharply. He handed his wand backwards to his lover, rushing towards the woman who lay on his floor. It took him only a second to realize that only a member of the Order would have known where he lived; this wounded creature must have been someone he knew, not some random intruder. Dropping to his knees, he reached out, pulling Hermione to him. He didn't care if her blood painted his chest, he felt the instinctive need to hold her. It was then that Severus realized who he was holding.

"Hermione?" He asked, his voice nearly gone. It had been her curly brown lion's mane of hair that had given her away. With panic erupting in his chest, he yelled to his lover. "Caroline! Quick, get the medi-kit!"

While Caroline ran up the stairs as fast as she could, Severus continued to hold Hermione in his strong arms. He smoothed her hair back and stared into her honey eyes. Her eyes were glassed over, so little life left in her body that it scared him. His eyes roved over her, barely noticing the fact that she was naked over the huge, gaping wounds all over her body. The deep slashes on her arms were terrifying, but the bite mark on her delicate neck was what scared him the most.

"Hermione, Hermione...I need to stay awake, Hermione." He shook her, even though he knew it would be painful. If she passed out now, she may never wake up again. "Hermione, what happened? Who did this? Was it an animal?"

Bowing his head close to her mouth, he urged her to speak as much as she could. The breath in her lungs was so incredibly shallow that he was surprised she could make even the tiniest sound. "Re...re..."

"Come on Hermione, you can do this." He whimpered, his eyes furrowed. He felt like Caroline had been gone an hour.

"Lu...lup..." She breathed out again before her eyes rolled up into her skull.

"Remus Lupin!" He screamed. "Caroline! Where are you?"

Just as he yelled for her, Caroline crashed down on her knees beside him., dumping the contents of the medi-kit on the floorboards. As gently as he could, Severus set Hermione down, cushioning her head with his leg. Immediately, both Severus and Caroline began compressing her wounds with gauze to try to stem off some of the blood flowing out from Hermione's grievous wounds. With her wand, Caroline began to siphon the blood away so that they could properly assess the damage to the girl's fragile body.

"We need to take her to St. Mungo's, Severus." She said, her voice dark. "I may be a healer, but I don't think I can do this by myself."

"Then I'll have to help you...I can provide potions and do whatever you ask of me." Severus stared her down, deathly serious. "Remus Lupin did this. We can't take her to the hospital."

"Why the fuck not?" She screeched. "This girl is going to die!"

"If we take her, the Ministry will kill him too."

Long hours passed with Hermione still unconscious on Severus's bed where they had lain her. Severus and Caroline were able to stop her bleeding and repair the wounds to her arms. They may not have looked pretty, and would probably leave her with lasting, nasty scarring, but she would be able to use them again, thanks to Caroline's muscle reconstruction skills. The bite wound on her neck though, was deep and hard to keep under control. Severus didn't have to tell Caroline what the potential consequences of a werewolf bite meant, but there was still hope. \

"If he wasn't fully transformed when he bit her, the chances of her becoming a werewolf are low..." Severus whispered to Caroline as he dabbed a weak solution of the Wolfbane potion into the wound. Caroline was preparing a syringe of the potion so that they could inject it directly into Hermione's bloodstream.

"If not, Severus?" She asked. "What will you do?"

"He's been controlling his condition for years. She could still live a relatively normal life."

"Yes, that's proved to work out so well. He obviously wasn't 'controlling his condition' all that well tonight." Caroline scoffed viciously. "Relatively normal? How old is this girl, 16, 17? How the hell can she live a normal life?"

Severus was silent.

"He's ruined her life. Werewolf or not, she will never be beautiful again." Caroline was so angry that she wanted to hunt Remus down herself like the beast he was.

"Unh..." Both Severus and Caroline's head snapped towards her as they heard Hermione awaken. "What's going on?" She coughed out, voice still incredibly weak.

Severus rushed over to his student who was laid up in his bed, awkwardly clothed by one of his own over-sized shirts and Caroline's shorts. He sat down next to her, tucking his ear-length black (sometimes greasy) hair behind his ear and leaning close. He took her hand in his own, trying to help brace her from the impending shock of the realization of what had happened to her.

"Hermione, how do you feel?" Caroline asked, still standing a few feet back, face shadowed.

"Hermione, I know you are in pain, and I know that you are weak," Severus began, his voice low and deep. "But, I need you to tell me if Remus bit you while he was fully transformed or if it happened before..."

"Before, Professor." Hermione coughed.

"Oh thank God." Both Caroline and Severus sighed of relief.

...

Please R &R!

Meg


	10. Chapter 10

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

Woot! I graduated and moved successfully...now, I have to get a job. . Still, I'm hoping to post a new chapter at least once a week. :)

...

The state of the small seaside cottage alarmed Severus as he stepped out of the fireplace, senses on high alert. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he assured himself that the likelihood of Remus being inside the house was relatively small. The odds were far in his favor that Remus would be off in the neighboring woods hunting for any sort of prey he could find; the chances, however, were high that he would be in the town down the road, as it was only a few miles away. The idea of having to rescue town folk from a rampaging werewolf was not pleasant.

"Remus?" he called out, using his wand to light the pitch black room.

Severus listened carefully, hoping to hear any noises that Remus would certainly make if he were approaching his life-long acquaintance. Any sort of shuffling in the debris left by the destruction that had taken place was absent, as was a loud calling card of labored breathing. Severus had faced many magical creatures of varying levels of dangerousness and yet, this scared him more than ever. Normally, he would not hesitate to kill a beast who threatened his life... was this was no beast, he could honestly say that in recent years, Remus had transformed into a true friend from the neglectful bully he had been in their years at Hogwarts.

The thought of Remus as a harmless man was quickly struck from Severus's mind; having seen Hermione Granger bloodied on his living room floor, arms torn up and flesh nearly torn from her bones, Severus was unsure if he could ever think of Remus as harmless again. He knew he was taking a great risk doing what he was doing, but leaving the unknowing muggles of the surrounding area within the hunting grounds of a terrifying werewolf was much worse. He could hardly imagine what would happen if Remus attacked one of the villagers, surely his friend would be killed. Severus sighed out, his voice low and quiet. The wolfsbane potion in his robes felt like it was burning a hole through the black fabric of his pocket. It felt like such a pathetic solution to the obviously huge problem that was lycanthropy, but it was the only thing that could be done, short of killing Remus himself.

…

In a dark corner of the woods, a giant beast was crouched low over the body of a large deer. Pieces of the animal were strewn across the surrounding area, having been ripped and shaken from the corpse of the werewolf's unfortunate prey. Remus's long incisors pierced the dead, bloody flesh, shredding long fibers of muscles and strips of skin. A low growl emitted from between his sharp teeth, muffled slightly by the meat in his mouth. Deep crimson blood oozed from the corners of his mouth, bubbling and flecking onto the ground with each slow breath.

A new smell bloomed into existence, drawing Remus out from the depths of the woods. His canine-esque senses picked up on the intrusion immediately, and the scent was promptly registered by his brain. Deep within the folds of his brain, the human part of Remus detected the scent as being familiar, but that part of him was silenced beneath a dark layer of blood-thirsty werewolf. A flicker of light in the windows of the cottage in the distance reflected off of the large globes of Remus's dark eyes. Within an instant, he had taken off towards the source of his instinctual attraction. With each swift and immensely long stride, long claws dug into the soft earth below his huge paws. It took him only seconds to cover the distance from the line of ancient trees to the fence surrounding his house.

The smell that had brought him away from his meal and out of the woods was flooding his brain with each labored breath. Through the glass windows, he watched the figure stumble about in the main room of the house, wand alight. To his animal brain, he was watching captive prey, much like a mouse in a cage. This prey would be even easier to kill than the last.

…

"What is he going to do once he gets there?" Hermione asked incredulously, having awoken to find her potions professor gone.

Caroline struggled to fight down the lump in her throat. She paused to wipe the forming tears out of the corners of her eyes. "He's...going to subdue Remus."

Hermione shifted up in her bed, arms working painfully but still working. In the back of her hazy mind, she was enormously grateful for Caroline's medical skills that were swift enough to save her life. Hermione watched Caroline in her chair as she pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them tightly. She was clearly terrified of the same thing that happened to Hermione happening to Severus. Through the fear, Hermione could feel an intense amount of love. With a deep breath, Caroline closed her eyes tightly and muttered a prayer for her lover.

"Are you sure that I'm...well...safe?" Hermione said with a gulp. She wanted to distract Caroline somewhat.

"What was he thinking?" Caroline ignored Hermione's question outright. "What the fuck what he thinking?"

"What?"

"He's going to get himself killed! How can he do this?" she shouted, nearly shaking. "He's so stupid. Fucking idiot."

"I'm sure he'll be okay..." Hermione said quietly, not really able to speak any louder.

The pair locked gazes, both was secretly unsure of whether or not he really would be okay. Caroline looked at the girl on Snape's bed; eyes painted with a maelstrom of mixed emotions. Part of her resented this girl from showing up because now it meant that Severus was endangering his life for her. Quickly she realized that Severus could not have done anything less than make the choice that he had made. Despite his hard and callous facade, he was an intensely honorable man.

"And I love you for it, you fool..." she whispered. "Don't you get yourself killed."

…

Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise up, suddenly struck by an electrifying sensation of fear. He felt a tingling in his limbs and a striking clarity to his vision. Out of the corner of his vision he noticed something that had set his sense alight. A cloud of fog was spreading and receding with every hot breath on the window pane. A huge dark shadow moved just beyond the glass.

"Ah, Remus." he mumbled.

Severus had just enough time to brace himself before shards of shattered glass exploded into the room.

…

Please R&R!

Meg


	11. Chapter 11

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

A/N: Yeah...sorry, I said once a week updates and that definitely didn't happen. Things have been crazy and I just haven't been feeling too inspired. Anyone who has idea about where to take this, I would greatly appreciate if you want to drop me a line. :)

…

Her fingers were drenched in blood as she held them up in front of the light. Thick droplets slid down her long digits, pooling at her knuckles and continuing down to streak her forearms crimson. She could see the cloud of her own breath in front of her face, but she could not feel the bitter cold. He stared at her, eyes red and sickly focused on her flesh. Without looking, she knew she was naked and vulnerable, a meal ripe for consumption.

She knew something was wrong with...it. Everything around her. Remus was a man with long, gnashing teeth drizzling blood that seemed to come from nowhere. She could feel no pain, knew she had no wounds. He was unmarked, aside from the blood that painted his body in streaks and stripes of varying opacity. Something was decidedly wrong. Remus had the eyes and teeth of a beast, but the body of a man not yet even half-turned by the moon.

_I must be dreaming._ She thought to herself. The thought rang out, not just in her mind, but throughout the dream world. Remus's ears, though human, seemed to prick up at the faint whisper of words. She wondered to herself if the blood belonged to someone else, since it belonged to neither of the pair.

_Severus!_

…

Hermione opened her eyes slowly and was greeted with a dark room, lit only by a broad ray of light coming from the cracked door leading to the hallway. Her dream was fading into a faint memory, something she could never piece together enough to recall fully. The barest recollection would slip through her fingers like a mist if she tried to bring it back, and she knew this. She could hear muffled sounds coming up the stairs. _Not noises, voices._ She realized. She took comfort in the hushed exchange of words that she could make out. Caroline was talking to someone who could only have been Snape.

Hermione sat up on the bed and stretched. Her arms were still tight feeling, and definitely sore, but something about the way they felt told her that things would be okay. She had tremendous faith in Caroline's ability as a healer. The voices in the other room were quiet, so quiet in fact she was surprised that she had heard them at all, let alone was awoken from a deep sleep by them. Hermione shifted and let her feet dangle of the edge of the bed. When her toes had touched the cold of the hardwood floor, she pulled her covers off with a quick flick of her healing wrist.

"Oh," she said, looking down on herself. She didn't really remember being dressed, and certainly not dressing herself. And yet, she was fully dressed in a loose grey shirt and what she at first assumed were shorts, but in fact turned out to be boxers. "Never did I expect to wake up in Severus Snape's bed...and to be wearing his clothes."

The wood creaked beneath her bare toes as she slowly descended the staircase towards Severus and Caroline in the living room. She chose not to announce her presence, but rather to listen to the gentle exchange of words passing between lovers. Just out of sight, Hermione sat down on a step and pulled her knees to her chest; she curled her fingers around two of the bars of the railing and watched as Caroline bandaged a wound on Severus's leg with great care. Her touch on Severus's leg was painstakingly loving, and she could see in his expression that this was not lost to her Potions Master. She didn't know what it was, but she found herself warmed by this new side of Snape. She had only ever seen the gruff and stern of a professor at school, but within the last short hours, she had found asylum in his home. Now, she was witness to a whole new shade of emotions in him that she was confident very few people had ever seen.

"...After a bit of a scuffle I was able to subdue him." Severus said quietly, watching Caroline's hands. "I forced the Wolfsbane down his throat...Oh, Caro, Caro please..."

"No, don't 'please' me." the young woman said angrily, her face turned away from him, clearly upset.

Severus reached a hand up and brushed a lock of her curled her hair out of her face, tucking it lovingly behind her ear. He thumbed her cheek bone, and although Hermione could not see, she was sure that he was wiping away tears. "I'm fine, look at me. You inspected me yourself. I didn't die. This is barely a scratch at all." Severus gestured to the now bandaged slash on his thigh.

"You could have." she said slowly.

"I love you, I'm not prepared to leave you just yet." He joked, tilting his head to see into his lover's down turned eyes.

The conversation continued, but suddenly Hermione couldn't focus. She had forgotten, for a moment, her own lover. Severus had administered the potion to turn him human again. Hermione considered that, and wondered what sort of wounds Lupin had suffered in the scuffle and the pain the transformation had brought on. Unlike Severus, who had a woman to heal his wounds with her love, Remus was alone, writhing in pain in his destroyed sea side cottage.

Part of Hermione wanted to stay far away from him. This part of her wanted to lick her wounds and heal up; perhaps now, with her injuries and the danger she had faced as the ward of Remus Lupin, she could convince the Order to allow her to spend the rest of the summer at the Burrow, regardless of Ron and Ginny's presence there. This had implications Hermione couldn't even fathom. Coming to Severus for help had brought into motion a chain of events that would surely be horrific for Remus. Even if he wasn't to be carted off to Azkaban for attacking another wizard, the Order would certainly have something to say about his condition being out of control. Even though the slip up was not Remus's fault, he had still slipped under and turned into an animal, ravaging Hermione sexually and physically in the process.

"No..." Hermione whispered to herself. "I can't do that to him. He doesn't deserve that."

Hermione had to catch herself from speaking too loudly. She didn't want to attract Severus and Caroline's attention just yet. She had to decide what she was to do. Severus could not tell the Order what had happened, but simply asking him to keep quiet wouldn't work. But the damage was done. Hermione wracked her brain, struggling to come up with an effective plan. She had to get back to Remus, and no one could find out what had happened. Suddenly, from her perch atop the stairs, Hermione found her answer staring her in her face. Gilderoy Lockhart's book _Magical Me_ smiled broadly at her from the bookcase.

…

I'm sorry to have taken so long, if you like my story and like Sirius and Ginny as a pairing, you could read my other story, God of My Idolatry while you wait for me to update this one :)

Please R&R!

Meg


	12. Chapter 12

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

A/N: Yeah...sorry, I said once a week updates and that definitely didn't happen. Things have been crazy and I just haven't been feeling too inspired... I think I have some better ideas as to where I want to take the story now. Thanks to everyone who gave me ideas in reviews, pms and the like, especially Velvet Storm. :)

_OH! I need your help. I want to write a new story based in Hogwarts since I haven't written an in-school one in about a century. I want to get people's votes on this...either PM me or just write in a review if you can spare a second. Should it be a Sirius or Remus/Lily in the marauder's era OR a Hermione or Ginny/Snape? I know which one I'm leaning towards, but I really value all of your opinions! :) _

….

Everything was eerily calm; the small cottage by the sea was in ruins the last time Hermione Granger laid eyes on it, only now it was perfect, nearly picturesque. Not a thing was out of place, every book was re-shelved, every tiny shard of glass had found its way back into the window frames, fused into a single pane by force of magic. Hermione had expected to step out of the fireplace onto the pile of rubble that remained from the Floo jar she had smashed over Remus's head. Instead, the floor look freshly swept. Not a grain out powder remained to be stepped on. The house bore no scar of the battles that had raged within its cozy walls and Hermione found it strange. She made a mental note to thank Severus for the courteous flick of his skilled wand that had surely undone all that she and Lupin had done.

Hermione smiled to herself wryly, realizing that she would be thanking him for something he no longer knew he had done. The house was wiped clean just as Severus and Caroline's minds had been. Hermione was careful to erase only the last few hours, replacing their memories with that of a romantic night spent in bed together. It was the least she could do, they had helped her so much.

"Remus?" Hermione called out softly, not knowing exactly where he was. She had overheard Severus say that he had subdued the former DADA professor, but where? The woods? He didn't seem to be in the house.

It was then that Hermione saw the halo of light coming from Remus's slightly cracked door. It wasn't artificial light from a wand or a lamp, but rather through the window. Night had come and gone in the blink of an eye clouded with adrenaline and pain. Hermione peered around the edge of the door to see into the room. Beneath the slate grey covers was a large, quivering lump. Remus was huddled under the warmth of many thick blankets even in the heat of a summer morning, his transformation having left him weak and sweating from body-wrenching chills.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat and she had to step back. Tears streamed from her eyes almost instantly and they were such a surprise to Hermione that she scarcely recognized that they were coming from her own eyes. It hurt her so deeply to see his body wracked with pain and nausea. It was hard to imagine that the man who had been such a large, powerful creature who ravaged her less than a day ago was now so vulnerable. Without thinking, Hermione found herself gripping her healing wounds on her arms much too tightly. She couldn't feel the pain at all now. She wished the same were true for Remus.

Days passed without Remus emerging from his room. She brought him food and drink but couldn't muster the strength to bring it to his bedside. She knew it was selfish, but she merely set the tray of life giving nourishment by the door a few times a day. The only reason she had to believe that Remus was even alive at all was that she would find the plates and cups empty when she returned to check on him hours later. He never seemed to move; from her vantage point of the cracked door, Remus always seemed to be exactly where she had left him. He didn't appear to be in as much pain after a while, but rather in a deep hibernation that spanned almost three days.

From beneath the murkiness clouding Remus's mind, the three days since his transformation had expanded into eternity. He struggled to remain lucid; he had never lost his humanity even while taking his werewolf form, but rather felt trapped within his own body. Remus's regretfully knew what happened at all times, but his body refused to obey his pleading brain. His mental capacities were overridden by his skewed, animal instincts. He always felt that he was de-evolving into a something far baser than he had ever been, but this transformation had been on an entirely different and horrifying level. Inside, his mind had been screaming as he attacked Hermione. While he could not deny that he had felt an overwhelming attraction to Hermione, he would never have acted on it, let alone in such an aggressive manner. He knew that he had all but raped the poor girl and damned near killed her.

Once the wolf in him had taken over, Remus was unable to control himself in any way. He succumbed to his desire, no, compulsions to seek prey. He'd spent hour thrashing through the woods surrounding his humble home, killing and eating anything unlucky enough to cross his ravenous path. And while Severus's arrival had brought him closer to the surface, there was nothing that Remus could even begin to do to listen to his friend's pleading logic. Unable to reign in his monstrous form, he had even attacked his fellow Order member. It sounded ridiculous even to himself, but he had been happy to be bested by Severus. When he'd been subdued, relief had washed over him in great waves as the Hogwarts potion's master forced the Wolfsbane potion down his unwilling throat.

Through his self-loathing and the tremendous pain of coming down from his werewolf form, Lupin never imaged that Hermione would ever choose to be near him again. He had taken some small comfort in the assumption that she would be cared after at St. Mungo's or the very least with the Weasley's at the Burrow. Instead, to his horror, she had returned to his home. To him.

"Hermione..." He whispered as she called his name. She could not hear his sad little cry, he was barely able to. "Is this a dream?"

It took him days to regain his strength enough to leave the room. He owed Hermione so much for all that she had done for him. Without her care he would not have been healthy for several more days. It was the idea of her that gave him the most drive to come away from this event stronger.

…

"Hermione?" Remus asked, stepping into the kitchen.

He was wrapped tightly in a knee-length grey robe. He had grown thin in just a few days and even more haggard than she had ever seen him. His eyes were watery and blood shot, his flesh was washed out and seemed to just barely cling, papery and thin to his bones. His ashy brown and silver beard and mustache were scruffy from days of not being able to shave. If Hermione had to pick a single adjective to describe the man who stood before her as she nearly dropped her coffee mug onto the kitchen counter, it would have been "grey".

Remus looked and felt nearer to death than he had been in a long time. He swallowed dryly and looked at the young who sat before him. In all the ways he was grey and worn, she was new and radiant. In the light cast from the windows, great yellow beams of sunlight, Hermione was awash with gold. She was bright and warm, hair in waves of honeyed brown and eyes striking bowls of amber. She held her breath as she looked at him, dewy lips just barely parted.

"You're an angel." he whispered.

Who better than an angel to bring him back from the dead.

…

I'm sorry to have taken so long, if you like my story and like Sirius and Ginny as a pairing, you could read my other story, God of My Idolatry while you wait for me to update this one :)

Please R&R!

Meg


	13. Chapter 13

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

A/N: Yeah...sorry, I said once a week updates and that definitely didn't happen. Things have been crazy and I just haven't been feeling too inspired... I think I have some better ideas as to where I want to take the story now. Thanks to everyone who gave me ideas in reviews, pms and the like, especially Velvet Storm. :)

….

Hermione stood, setting her coffee cup down on the counter with great care. Still, not a single sound escaped her lips. Remus could not tell if she was angry, or upset. Had she only come back to tell him how angry she was at him? To get her things and leave? _No_, he reminded himself, _she's taken care of you these last few days. Why would she do that, only to leave?_ The expression on Hermione's face gave him no clue as to what was going on inside her mind. Remus traced her form with his eyes, trying to force down memories of her in the nude. It was then that he saw the silvery wounds that were healing on her arms. A rush of guilt spread from his belly, making him feel sick.

"I...I am so sorry, 'Mione." His voice was low, although he knew she could hear it. He took a deep breath, willing away tears. Remus pulled his hands away from his robe, letting it fall open a little, and reached out to touch her arms. When the rough pads of his fingers came into contact with her smooth skin and the valleys of the scratch marks he had inflicted on her, he cringed. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Instead of speaking, she continued to look at him for a long moment. For Remus, it was the longest moment of his life; the torture of it was nauseating. She had no intentions of telling him that she wouldn't. In fact, she had never really blamed him at all for what happened. And she would trade the scars on her arms and the drama of what had transpired any day for the way he had made her feel, and was making her feel now. She was terrified to imagine that what she felt was love, but also terrified to think that maybe it wasn't.

Clearly, Remus felt remorse for hurting her. Did he regret sleeping with her as well? Did he even remember it at all? She could only wonder. She had spent the last days wondering if it had all been a mistake, and while it had certainly distracted her from her parents' deaths, if it was a good idea to even come back. The pain in Remus's eyes was speaking to her as she watched him, silently. They had crossed the line between former student and professor long ago, physically, but she could see now that they had crossed it emotionally. His eyes told her that he would never let this happen again, and she so desperately wanted to believe him.

Hermione reached up to take the hand that Remus still had on her arm, stroking her broken flesh. She felt the shudder that shot through his body like a tiny earthquake; she could hardly have shocked him more had she slapped him across the face. Remus watched as she closed her eyes and brought his hand to her lips. She cradled his large hand in her two dainty ones and placed a soft kiss on the side of his long thumb. The kiss was like liquid energy to him, pulsing up the length of his lanky arm to his torso and up his neck to his skull. Without thinking, he pulled his hand from hers and slid it up the her neck.

When they kissed, it was like a breath of life to him. His body was still weak, but it was gaining strength as the hours went on. Gone was the perpetual cloud of transformation from his mind, now his thoughts were sharp as his claws and teeth had been. With his newfound clarity came a realization that he didn't truly want to accept. For a moment, he ignored all the logic he had once prided himself on and just let himself enjoy this tiny bit of happiness. They kissed with tender, if repressed passion, their lips sticking slightly when they broke for air. Remus could nearly feel his heart breaking; his chest was echoing the pain in his mind.

"Hermione..." he sighed out, looking away from her.

"Remus, it's alright." Hermione titled her face, peering up at the much taller man. "I don't blame you."

He couldn't even look at her. In such a short time, so much had happened to her. She was sweet and innocent and there was nothing that she deserved less than to lose her parents and be attacked by a half transformed werewolf. There was almost nothing that he could do to make things worse for her, almost.

He turned away from her, moving towards the coffee maker on the back counter. He could feel her eyes boring into his back as he plucked a lonely off-white coffee mug from the upper cabinets and set it, with a soft clink, on the lip of the counter. He was sure that she expected him to say something more, but his throat seemed to choke on words that were yet unspoken.

He had so much to say, and so little all at once. He didn't know if it was the situation that made his feelings seem so intense, and he was sure that Hermione was feeling much akin to himself. He wanted to desperately to just be with her, to kiss her and make love to her, but was trying desperately not to get caught up in the dangerous romance of it all. He had enjoyed it, and he would have continued to enjoy it should he allow himself the pleasure of it. But, it simply couldn't be. Hermione was a former student, let alone the victim of his aggression. It may have been wrong for him to sleep with her, and he knew that "sleeping" with her was putting it extremely lightly, but he wouldn't not regret it. But most of all, he was determined not to repeat it.

Having poured a cup of now cooling coffee and taken an awkward sip, Remus turned to Hermione. "I don't know how to say this..."

"Professor..." she cringed at the slip. "Remus. I know...things have happened. But something has changed. I really want to see where this can go."

He couldn't make eye contact with her.

"It can't go anywhere, Hermione."

"Yes, it can, Remus." she halfway yelped. "Can't we even try?"

Remus squeezed his eyes shut, partly to hide tears, but also to feign anger and frustration. Heart breaking in his chest, he did the only thing he knew how to do. Years of rejection and ostracism had helped him to learn how to lash out and hurt people before they got the opportunity to hurt him. Or, in this case, for him to ruin Hermione's life anymore than he and fate already had. He knew, deep down, that causing Hermione a little more pain now would be far worse than the multitude of pain she would feel later if she got wrapped up in Remus's world.

"Listen to me, little girl." Lupin summoned a growl from the depths of his belly, bringing up strength he didn't think he could muster in his state. "While I appreciate your being here to help me, I cannot stress enough that it was a _mistake_ bringing you here. You've put me in a delicate position and I've put you in a dangerous one."

"Remus...you can't mean that..." Hermione's voice was wounded.

"I can and I do. I'm not going to entertain your ridiculous notions that we have something going here. It was a fuck, Hermione. A good one, but just a fuck. Why must you bring emotions into it?"

Hermione fingers had curled in front of her mouth, drowning out what small cries slipped between her soft lips.

"I think it's best you leave here."

…..

Please don't hate me!

Please R&R!

Meg


	14. Chapter 14

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

A/N: To all of my readers, I have to apologize for being a truly awful person... I promised to update frequently and it's been nearly 6 months. :/ I promise I have good reason... The last months have been tremendously tumultuous for me; my relationship of four years ended very suddenly, my parents split up and my father had to be baker acted after a suicide attempt...and I've been working two jobs...it just didn't happen. Things are settling down just a little, so hopefully my life will go back to normal soon.

….

With a deep breath, Hermione tried to regain her composure. She didn't speak for a long moment, just stared into Remus's seemingly never-endingly deep eyes. A long sigh escaped her lips. He cocked an eyebrow at her cautiously.

"Well," she cleared her throat and wiped a tear from her cheek with a tinge of defiance. "I don't believe you when you say that it meant nothing."

"I don't know why." Remus said through a feigned arrogant smirk. "Never had a one night stand before, Granger?"

Remus imagined he was quite good at coming across as a heartless womanizer; Hermione could see through his act. She thought to herself whether it was worth the trouble to call him out on it. She could see that he'd made up his mind to make her leave. It would either be willing or forced. There was no use in trying to convince him to let her stay, a single moment later would be awkward and only stain the memory of what connection they may have ever had.

"Alright, Remus. I'll leave." Hermione brushed her hand through her hair. She took a step towards her room, moving to collect her things. As if a thought popped up in her mind, she put her finger up to get his attention. "But, Remus, let me tell you this...if you think this is over...you're wrong."

….

The weeks that had passed since Hermione had left Remus's home felt like years. She had gone to live temporarily with the Weasleys, but as the Order still felt it was risky to have Ron, Ginny and Hermione all under one roof, they had to find other arrangements. Dumbledore himself had come to collect the young witch from the small village down the coast from Remus's cottage. He'd found her sitting in dusty, hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, staring blankly into a cup of cold tea, her things in a haphazard pile around her ankles. She'd looked as though she'd been orphaned all over again.

No one seemed to ask too many questions about why the living arrangement with Lupin hadn't quite worked out. Molly, Ginny, Ron and the remainder of the enormous Weasley clan were delighted to see Hermione; for a brief few days, Hermione felt as though her crumbling life might be salvageable. She spent long days in the garden with Ginny, or in the kitchen helping to cook or clean up after the red headed clan. She and Ron actually seemed to get along without bickering. The nights, however, were long when her mind wandered to her parents or Remus. When she could manage to coax herself to sleep, her dreams were either hazy or startlingly crisp. In any form, they filled her with a sensation of loneliness she had never felt. Hermione wanted so much to be strong and not care, but she was failing. Deep down, she knew it was in her best interest to be as numb as possible, but it was so hard not to feel.

One morning, with very little warning, Hermione awoke to find her bags already magically packed and waiting for her near the door. She could hear muted talking in the kitchen, which sounded faintly like an argument. She pressed her ear against the door gently and listened to the conversation just beyond the thin wood.

"But Albus..." Molly cooed, voice laced with concern.

"The arrangements have already been made with Sirius. I'm sure you can agree that living in Grimmauld place will be much preferred over Spinner's End." Dumbledore spoke softly, even though he already knew that Hermione was at the door.

"She can stay here," she tried to reason with him. "It's been fine these last few days. The children have missed her...she's just one of the family when she's here. This is where she needs to be."

"I wish it could be so, but it is far too dangerous, Molly. The Dark Lord already has eyes on the Burrow. I can't allow your family to be a target... As much as you love her, know it is the best for everyone."

There was the sound of wood on wood, ancient chair legs scraping across the time-worn planks of the kitchen floor. Foot steps fell, heading her direction and Hermione had to decide to make her presence known or to disappear. But, Dumbledore was the wisest of all wizards and had long since known that she had been lurking just outside the room, and even if she wanted to deny it, Hermione was smart enough to know it was true.

"Molly, can you excuse us for just a moment?' Dumbledore had such a way with words, his urging came out smooth as honey, like the sweetest request ever made. "Ms. Granger, please, join me."

Molly was teary eyed when she emerged from the kitchen, and stopped briefly to squeeze Hermione's narrow shoulder and plant a motherly kiss on the younger woman's cheek. The young woman pushed her long sleeves up from her elbows as she opened the door, walked to the table and sat across from her beloved headmaster. She pulled her full lips into a closed mouth, half smile.

"Hermione," he began slowly, cautiously. "I am terribly sorry that the arrangement with Remus didn't work out." His words had such double meaning to her, was he aware of that? She had to wonder, did he know everything?

"As am I, Headmaster."

"As it is ill advised for you to stay here, I'm afraid the only other logical place we have to place you is in the care of Sirius Black." Dumbledore slowly pulled his half-moon glasses from his face to rub out a smudge on the soft fabric of his cerulean robes. When his eyes connected with hers again, Hermione could feel his sadness for her.

Dumbledore continued to talk, telling her the details of getting her to the house, and arrangements for her to get her things from Diagon Alley at the end of the summer, but Hermione wasn't listening. She glossed over his words, hearing them but not understanding a single syllable. She found herself staring at the ancient, cracked window pane above the Weasley's kitchen sink. She wondered, as strange as it seemed even to herself, how glass felt. It was invisible; almost no one ever took the time to look at it, in and of itself, but merely looked through it. Hermione was beginning to feel invisible herself. The loss she felt from her parents took so much out of her that she wasn't even sure she wanted to exist anymore and without Remus as a wonderful, interesting distraction, Hermione was scared that nothing would ever make her happy again.

…..

"I swear it has never been this goddamned quiet before." Remus muttered to himself, words saturated with frustration. "You're imagining that, of course. Hermione scarcely ever made a sound... except, well when she... No! I have to stop thinking about that."

It felt like so long since Hermione had lived with him; to him, it could have easily been years. After he'd sent her away, Remus had been nearly catatonic. The only reason he found fitting to leave his room was to refill his sticky, near-grimy glass with yet another strong glass of liquor to dull his mind. He'd wrestled with his emotions for hours a night. Should he have sent her away? He was certain he'd made the right decision, but he could only wonder why it felt so _wrong_.

Remus grumbled, still somewhat inebriated, and rolled over in bed. Bright sunlight had penetrated the sanctuary like darkness of his bedroom hours upon hours ago. It was probably mid afternoon, but he neither knew for sure or cared in the least. He knew that he had to get down to village to get groceries; he'd exhausted his food supply two days ago and had subsisted entirely on alcohol since. He'd found that experience both nauseating and ill-advised.

"You've got to get up, old boy." He said aloud, as if talking to a beloved canine companion. He was, however, just talking to himself. As usual.

Remus padded into the kitchen after having momentarily mustered the intrinsic motivation to both stand _and_ put on pants. This was something he had lacked for several weeks and felt that it deserved some small measure of recognition, even if it was only from himself. He yawned and scratched his head, using it as an excuse to avoid looking at the coffee cup on his counter. He had been unable to bring himself to move the cup that Hermione had left there on the last night she lived with him. Some days he couldn't look at it because it made him feel an overwhelming sadness. It was one of those days, and Remus found himself almost sneaking past the disapproving ceramic vessel. It was when he was trying not to look at it, that he noticed something entirely new in his kitchen.

On his refrigerator, inscribed on a pale yellow post-it was a note in his handwriting.

"Stop talking to yourself."

Then, just below, in slightly less coherent lettering:

"Stop drinking."

And, finally, in obviously drunk handwriting:

"You love her. Go find her."

….

Please R&R!

Meg


	15. Chapter 15

"How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found" By Meg

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter…I simply enjoy using the characters conjured up J.K. Rowling for my own sweet pleasure. Also, this **AU**.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin.

A/N: I have posed a question at the very end of this chapter...please give me your opinion!

….

It was a dim, foggy morning when Hermione arrived on the doorstep of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, or rather, the non-existent doorstep of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Professor Dumbledore had been kind enough to escort her almost all the way. He had intended to take her in and speak to Sirius for a few moments, but it had been crystal clear to him that she wanted the transition from the Burrow to her new place to be as unspectacular as possible. When the old, brick building popped into existence, quite literally, it was completely unremarkable as Hermione had remembered. She didn't bother to knock, instead she simply let herself in the front door.

Her suitcases and things made a collection of soft thuds as she set them on the wooden floor, just past the threshold. The hallway was dark; even with the door open, the darkness inside the house was so thick that no light penetrated it, not that there was much light to being with. Hermione sighed to herself as she shut the door and when she exhaled, a layer of dust rose up into the air and caught in the dim light.

"This place is so..." She began, voice low and laced with mild disgust.

"Charming? Fantastic? The kind of place you'd like to be holed up in for years on end?" A deep voice emitted from down the hallway, each word smooth and yet gruff at the same time. Such a voice could only belong to one man, Harry's godfather, the infamous Sirius Black.

"Eh, it has a certain appeal." She smiled, surprising even herself, and even though Sirius could not see her face, it was easy enough to _hear_ it. Suddenly, a great number of candles leapt into existence, tiny flames dancing in the wake of the magic that had given birth to them. Before her stood Sirius, arms crossed and face painted with a childlike smirk that betrayed his forty-something years on Earth. His hair was shoulder length and dark, black strands interwoven with a handsome amount of silvery grey. He was, to Hermione's private amusement, impossibly pale and while his facial hair was not long, it was quite unkempt and scraggly.

"Granger." he said in mock seriousness and nodded, lips pursed in an ever present smirk.

"Black?" she mimicked, playing along with their supposed years of familiarity. "My god, you didn't have to get so spiffed up just for me!" Hermione could hardly keep herself from laughing. It felt good to smile, and she knew that Sirius was the man to keep her smiling for as long as he could.

"Ah, haha, yes. Like the robes?" He pulled at invisible layers of non-existent fabric. He was merely dressed in dark jeans and a once-black-now-somewhat-black t-shirt. And completely barefoot.

"Lovely." She smiled.

….

It wasn't long before Sirius had helped her bring her things to the room that would be "hers" for a while. It was the room that she had often shared with Ginny while staying over before; she was glad for some sense of familiarity, even it was only with cobwebs and peeling, yellowed wallpaper. She wondered if Sirius ever bothered to come in these rooms when no one was staying over, and she could only help to think that he never did. She set up her books on a shelf, arranged a few pictures and quickly found herself bored with the whole process.

Hermione made her way down the creaky, dark stairs. She kept her ears perked, trying to ascertain where in the expansive house Sirius might be hiding. Compared to the bustling Burrow, the quietness was kind of relaxing. She felt like she would enjoy the personal space and long hours of alone time. It was then, however, that she extrapolated that feeling and wondered how Sirius managed to stay so alone for so long. The times when the Order convened at Number Twelve always seemed so hectic to Hermione, but now she realized that it must be like a vacation for Sirius. It must have been quite delightful to have so many people under one roof with him; his life must be terribly lonely at times. Poor Sirius wasn't able to wander out of his home much, being such a wanted criminal in both the wizarding and muggle worlds. Kreatcher couldn't have been very good company, so Hermione was left wondering. What did Sirius do with all of his time?

She found Sirius in the kitchen, with a pile of books spread out on his long, unfinished pine table. He had an uncorked bottle of Fire Whiskey, nearly drained, and and a tumbler filled with amber-stained ice cubes in front of him, as well as a particularly thick tome. Hermione was struck momentarily with a thought; she had never seen Sirius read anything, and actually have never stopped to wonder if Sirius was much of a reader. She would have noticed, if she'd cared to, that Sirius's home was practically bursting with books on many varied topics.

Hermione cleared her throat. "May I join you?"

His eyes shot up. "Christ!" he half yelped. "Wow, haha, Hermione, I completely forgot you were here."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." she bit her lip, wishing that she hadn't startled her new 'roommate'.

"No, no, you're fine." Sirius motioned to the chair across from himself. "It's just been so long since I had a visitor that it's easy to forget I had one at all...especially one as quiet as you, church mouse."

"Thought I was a ghost?" She posed playfully, after having taken a seat in the straight backed chair.

"Damn, girl. Don't joke that way. This place is full of 'em." He smiled and picked up his glass. He attempted to take a sip and was saddened to find it empty, his efforts being rewarded only with a sharp chink of ice on glass and a lone drop of Fire Whiskey on his lips. "I'm terrified I'll see my bitch mother one of these nights, come back from the dead to make my life a living hell..._again._"

Hermione smiled quite genuinely.

"Ah, ace. I made you smile." Using his wand, Sirius conjured another glass from the cabinet and poured himself a new drink and one for Hermione. "Have a drink."

"Oh, no, Sirius I really shouldn't. I'm underage." Hermione put one hand up to refuse the glass, but it had already found its way into the space in front of her.

"It's just you and me, girl. Who's going to tell?"

….

The fire in the hearth had grown sparse and nearly died by the time they were done talking. It had been so long since Hermione had had such a in-depth, yet light conversation equally full of intriguing thoughts and side-splitting laughter. She knew the same was probably true for Sirius. When her head finally hit the pillow, Hermione's mind was swimming with new experiences and thoughts she actually enjoyed. For one night, she didn't think about her parents, her friends or Remus. She was far from sober, but far from drunk. She was nestled in that creative space of having a nice buzz that makes all people fluid and uninhibited, without the worry of a hang over, or lack of control. She had an intensely warm feeling in her belly that radiated to every square inch of her body.

Hermione had climbed the stairs clumsily, still laughing fiercely with Sirius who continued on up the stairs to the floor above her. He was less toasted than she was, probably from years of drinking experience and tolerance. She didn't care; she wasn't acting stupid and if she was, she wasn't alone. Sirius was right there with her. She knew that he was trying to make her feel welcome and to make her forget some of the things that had recently transpired in her complicated life. She hoped that this wasn't a unique experience, hoped that she and Sirius would have such a fun rapport for the whole time she stayed with him. It felt uncomplicated. It felt good.

Hermione flopped onto her bed, still fully clothed and snuggled up to her over-sized pillow. She was so full of warm feelings that she was sure she could float right off the bed if she wasn't holding on. Her stomach was aflame, her endorphins bubbling up inside of her as if to tickle her ribs and maybe, just maybe defrost her stony heart a bit.

"Mmm. I want to feel this way forever." She sighed out, only to herself. As she settled into her new bed, in her new home, her mind began to wonder as the humming beta waves of sleep crept up on her. Was it the alcohol that made her feel this way? Or was it...something else?

….

Please R&R! Also, I desperately need your opinions, dear readers, on this. Love triangle? Or is that too complicated? You tell me!

Meg


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